As a 50-plus male, I intuitively knew that driving an Audi made me more attractive to women, but until this year I could not produce any tangible evidence of it. Yesterday evening, I completed the jigsaw as, for the second time in seven months, an attractive young woman ran into the back of my Audi.
It was about the same time of day, driving home from work. In both instances, I was stationery at a set of traffic lights. Imagine my delight at being able to jump out of my car again on the way home and have a valid excuse to capture the mobile phone number of a woman half my age! Try it any other time and the result would lie somewhere between a slap in the face and jail.
It's a methodology I wish I'd thought of about 25 years ago, but the problem is that there were no mobile phones then, I was driving company-provided Fords and half my age would have been about 14, but you get my drift.
Perhaps it never happened because even 'chicks' in my era were unattracted to Fords, or people driving them. The blue Ford oval didn't have the hypnotic effect on them that the four linked circles of the Audi logo clearly do as they approach them at intersections.
Last night as I perused and considered the cost and inconvenience of my car being a resurgent chick magnet, I felt relieved that, even though the young woman concerned had revealed her insurer, she hadn't asked for mine. Australian Pensioners Insurance (APIA) is not the brand name you want to parade out there when you're trying to impress a 20-something woman.
Yes, at every point in life, you encounter the power of brands. On the one hand those you're proud to be associated with, on the other brands that actually match your profile but reflect terrible truths about you that are best left unspoken.
As for the documented evidence of the allure of the Audi brand for young women, it's all at APIA, where all ageing dudes secretly accept the discounts for being senior members of the community. Perhaps APIA will start tightening underwriting requirements soon, insisting that older folks reduce their risk by associating with less sexy brands.